I blinked and September is already gone.
After the whirlwind that was the summer leading up to and following Zhara’s release, I needed a bit of a fallow period and September was mostly good for letting my creative soil rest and restore itself. I teetered on the edge of a burnout all summer, what with drafting Guardians 2 and releasing a book, and I feel as though I need to proceed carefully, as though my creativity and productivity were a sprained muscle I was afraid of re-injuring.
And I still feel the need for rest, I do. After several years of adjusting my medications, I think we’ve finally arrived on a combination that seems to work for both my bipolar disorder and my ADHD. But I sometimes forget that life is not to be lived at full-throttle at all times; it is better to give 80% and sustain myself instead of giving 100% and flaming out immediately. I, like Icarus, feel as though I might have flown too close to the sun. Finding 80% feels infinitely more difficult than 100%; it requires finesse. And finesse requires effort, but in a different way. I saw a TikTok once where a psychologist said that ADHDers don’t fall asleep—they pass out—and I’ve suddenly gained insight into what I thought was my ability to sleep well. Every day, I give and give and give until I pass out. Of course I sleep well.
I’m tired because I give 100% when I should be figuring out where 80% is.
In this issue
1. JJ’s magical world
2. Lexical gap
3. Events & appearances
4. This creative life
5. Morning Realms Dispatch
6. What you might have missed
7. What I’m reading
8. What I’m watching
9. What I’m listening to
10. Other things of note
lexical gap: daalamist 🧩
n. Scots. The fog that gathers in low-lying valleys at night before rising as mist with the dawn.
events & appearances 📅
Illumicrate will be hosting an IG live with me on Wednesday, October 18th at 3PM EST! Bring questions and hope to see some of you there!
this creative life ✍🏻
I’m obsessed with transitions at the moment. I’ve spent the past two weeks fine-toothed combing GUARDIANS 2 to better smooth out transitions before the book heads off to copyedits. We are approaching a transitional time—both in terms of seasons, weather, and also…writing. Once this book heads off to copyedits, it will be time to start thinking about GUARDIANS 3. And so the wheel turns.
morning realms dispatch 🌞
The Morning Realms Dispatch No. 12: Parfumerie.
The Guardians Gazette No. 8: Worldbuilding and the various faiths of the Morning Realms. For my 절친 only.
stuff you might have missed ✨
Negative capability: The Chariot, Strength, The Hermit. For my 절친 only.
what i’m reading 📖
Ha’Penny* by Jo Walton. This is the second book in Walton’s Small Change series and…rereading this over a decade after the last time I picked it up is…wow. The basic premise of the series is that they are essentially mysteries set in an alternate universe Britain where they brokered a peace with Hitler during WWII instead of fighting the war and reading about the slow creep of fascism in the name of freedom, security, and liberalism is…oof. It’s just a little TOO timely right now.
The Maid by Nita Prose. I…don’t know what I feel about this book tbh. As a mystery, I thoroughly enjoyed this, but I’m not entirely sure about the neurodivergence representation and the characterization. Proceed with caution!
Kushiel’s Dart* by Jacqueline Carey. Phèdre’s books are my comfort reads, and because I’ve been feeling a bit burned out lately, I’ve decided to pick them back up. For me, these are the definition of pure escapism—I just want to live in the world of Terre d’Ange and be a kinky bisexual courtesan who is also a spy, okay?
[Redacted] by [Redacted]. It’s not a spoiler for anything; I just would rather not recommend it.
*reread
what i’m watching 📺
Lots of renovation timelapses YouTube, especially of traditional East Asian houses.
Sense & Sensibility. One of the best adaptations of Austen ever, and I just love this interesting combination of Emma Thompson’s writing and Ann Lee’s direction.
Dangerous Beauty. I appear to be on a courtesan kick or something, because I decided to rewatch a comfort movie from college. My friend Helena showed me this video when I went to visit her one summer with the words, “This is a very JJ movie” and she was right. Also they literally don’t make movies like these anymore, these sort of Merchant Ivory-type historical romances with romantic (happy) endings. I miss them.
Pride & Prejudice. Listen, you’re either a Colin Firth girlie or a Matthew MacFadyen girlie and am fully a COLIN FIRTH GIRLIE. Now, I can see the arguments for the Keira Knightley version, but I was never much into the romanticism of the love story between Darcy and Lizzy and I would argue that neither was Austen. (Compare Darcy’s first proposal—horrendous and hilarious and drawn out—to his second one—ONE PARAGRAPH OF EXPOSITION—in the novel.) This adaption is FUNNY. I believe Jennifer Ehle’s Elizabeth as being someone of quick wit and merry disposition. Also, she and Colin Firth were boning each other during the filming of this series and you can tell. Delicious. Chef’s kiss, no notes.
Sex Education: Season 4. This show is just so delightfully wholesome and delightfully cringe at the same time. It’s not without its flaws, but this show is one of my comfort watches and I loved Season 4.
힙하게 (Behind Your Touch). My mother recommended this Korean drama to me when I told her I was in need of something to watch that didn’t tax my brain too hard because of burnout. The premise is ridiculous, as many kdramas are (psychic vet can see things that happen in the past, but only if she touches butts, yes, I KNOW) but the side characters are hilarious. I’m not entirely sure if the humor translates well to other languages, but it does make me laugh, which is what I need. Also, like many Korean dramas, it is starting to fall off the 12-episode cliff though (upping the mystery stakes, which is frankly the least interesting part of the show for me).
what i’m listening to 🎧
Layo(V)er by V of BTS. This album is perfect for V’s voice. A sort of jazzy, R&B, soulful, old-school-feeling EP, love them all. No skips. Perfect mood setter.
other things of note 💾
Sage, Andrew. “What Our Cities Are Missing,” Andrewism. YouTube. Sep 2023.
Walker, Campbell. “You’re not a person. You’re a brand.” struthless. YouTube. Sep 2023.
That’s all for this month! Now we head into spooky season and I definitely can’t wait.
사랑해,