It’s a hard world out there, 친구들. Honestly, I don’t know what to say sometimes in these monthly updates that doesn’t seem trite or inconsequential or gauche or just plain inappropriate. I’m generally a sanguine person, more like Aang than Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender, but I’m in The Desert episode right now. It’s hard to find hope at the moment, so I suppose I’ll just have to settle for nuggets of relief wherever I can find them.
So for the month of May, I present to you, my nuggets of relief (and occasionally joy).
life pupdates 🦭🐶🐶
It’s happened.
I have now become that sort of parent I used to make fun of—the one who can’t shut up about their kids. And by kids, I mean puppies, and by puppies, I mean Castor and Pollux, the Aussie/heeler mixes Bear and I rescued last month.
But I get it now, I really do, so I apologize to any parent I may have silently judged in the past. I need someone to commiserate and agonize with about whether or not my dogs are hitting developmental milestones on schedule, someone to brag to when my puppies sleep through the night and when there haven’t been any potty accidents, someone to help me socialize my twins so they don’t end up weird, anxious homeschooled dogs who can’t cope with dog society, and also someone to send pictures to of them doing really adorable stuff. Most of my dogs have been adolescents or adults when I’ve adopted them, so it was more like getting to know a friend. But Castor and Pollux were actual babies when they came to us, so it really is like raising a child. Two children. Twins. Ugh.
Send help, I am so tired.
Dogs really do grow so quickly. We’re past the equivalent of the puppy toddler stage and into puppy juvenile stage now, and things have gotten a lot easier in the past two weeks than they were in the first month they were with us. Hardly any house-training accidents now, and barely any fighting anymore (probably because they have their own rooms). The great advantage of having dogs is that you zoom right through all the difficult periods that would last years in humans. Toddlerhood lasts only a few weeks, childhood a few months, and before we know it, we’ll have two adolescents on our hands. Uwu, but also ugh. I’ve already reached the point where I start crying at their roly-poly baby videos and photos. They were so smol! ㅠ_ㅠ
It is stupid how much one can love a pup, honestly. Two pups even more. 🥺
writing updates ✍🏻
The idea hovered and shimmered delicately, like a soap bubble, and she dared not even look at it directly in case it burst. But she was familiar with the way of ideas, and she let it shimmer, looking away, thinking about something else.
—Philip Pullman, The Golden Compass
I’m in that creative period where I’m being secretive and superstitious about my work. Well, maybe not superstitious so much as selfish. I love keeping things to myself for as long as I can because I have this sense that once I share it with the world, my work no longer solely belongs to me. And I’m possessive that way.
But things are…happening.
Soon.
Ish.
lexical gap: 멍 🧩
멍 (meong) is a funny word. Like a lot of previous Korean words I’ve highlighted in this newsletter, 멍 is a mimetic word that indicates “staring into space” or “lights on, nobody’s home.” I’m not sure what sound it’s supposed to evoke—possibly the unconscious drone of a mouth hanging open (similar to the English durr), or even the ringing tone of an empty room. Whatever it is, every time I see it captioning someone’s blank face in a Korean variety show, it makes me laugh, mostly because it’s such a hilarious shorthand that doesn’t exist in English. We don’t even have a word for the early morning stares, a phenomenon that I’m sure is common to everyone who isn’t a morning person or hasn’t gotten enough sleep due to two puppies waking up at 4:30AM needing to be taken out for a pee.
listening 🎧
Feeling nostalgic this month. Lots of stuff I loved from middle school.
Lovefool by The Cardigans
Wonderwall by Oasis
Pepper by The Butthole Surfers1
You Get What You Give by New Radicals
내사랑 내곁에 (My love by my side) by 김현식 (Kim Hyunsik)
Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield
흔들린 우정 (Shaky friendship) by 홍경민 (Hong Kyungmin)
Torn by Natalie Imbruglia
She’s So High by Tal Bachman
1985 by Bowling for Soup
성인식 (Coming-of-age ceremony) by 박지윤 (Park Jiyoon)
Suddenly I See by KT Tunstall
All I Wanna Do by Sheryl Crow
Don’t Speak by No Doubt
Dammit by Blink-182
나에게로 떠나는 여행 (Trip to myself) by Buzz
외톨이(Loner) by Outsider
Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer
Ruby by Fin.K.L.
길 (Road) by g.o.d.
Closing Time by Semisonic
Honestly, not a lot happening this month. Well, not withstanding *gestures vaguely at the entire world outside.* Aside from puppy stuff, I’m in a fallow period, which I am cherishing as much as I’m able. Being able to share publishing news always seems to run at least six months behind actually receiving said news so…I’ll see y’all here with interesting stuff…at some point in the near-ish future.
사랑해,
JJ
One of my favourite things about The Butthole Surfers is that their entire existence is one large troll bolstered by actual artistic vision. They’re a prog-noise rock band and more interested in music as a concept than making anything remotely melodic and palatable to the mainstream masses. But the troll part comes from making radio and TV hosts have to say (or censor) “Butthole Surfers” on air, a fact I’m sure they thoroughly enjoyed when “Pepper” became an unexpected hit.