7 things I do on deadline
That I think will make make a better writer but actually just create more work for myself
I’m on deadline for the next draft of GUARDIANS 2 and I am in full-on ADHD panic mode. This, of course, means that in order to avoid doing actual work while feeling like I’m doing work, I have:
1. Bought several books on writing craft and read exactly 0.684% of them all
Surely if I read a book on how to make something good, it will do the work of making it good for me!
2. Obsessively organized my entire life via every planner and planning app imaginable: bullet journals, Google Calendar, Notion, et al
Surely if I micromanage my neurodivergence down to the millisecond, that somehow means through the power of transference, the time I waste organizing minute details will be spent on fixing my book instead!
3. Made a bazillion little tweaks to my website that no one will notice but me
Adding content warnings for my books is work! It counts, right?
4. Started an entire side business in my head while walking my dogs, including coming up with content, a website, and a logo
My brain is broken, surely I need something else to bring in income!
5. Imagined how I would redesign some brands I love but think need a refresh
I need a portfolio if I need to start a side hustle, right?
6. Name search myself on social media to see if people hate my writing
Obviously it’s better to quit while you’re ahead. I just need the right sign.
7. Drink an inordinate amount of Monster Energy drinks after 6PM in a fit of despair when I realize I’ve wasted my entire day and now have to sit down and work after the dogs have gone to bed
I’m ADHD, I keep forgetting caffeine makes me sleepy. 💀
Anyway I’m fine. My lower left eyelid might be twitching uncontrollably, but I’m fine.
I’m fine.
No, really, I’m fine.1
I really am, I promise. I’m emerging from the depressed phase of bipolar and I can feel my energy levels and mood rising. But also...help.